Oh well....I failed.
I had the sincerest of faith that I could produce daily blog entries, but for whatever reason, I just couldn't sit down at the computer to draft an entry every day.
Life is a little quiet for me right now. My 98 year old grandmother passed away last night. I adored her. So this week has been reflective and mellow on my behalf. I look forward to seeing my extended family at her funeral and hope we can all celebrate her life together. I'll check back in soon.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Today I had my second midwife visit. I blessedly passed the first trimester -almost 13 weeks along - and doing just great.
I had forgotten that today's visit would include my physical (breast exam, pelvic exam) and so I brought my active 20 month old boy with me. Unfazed by his loud and curious presence, my midwife went about the exam with a pleasant attitude.
Had I been in a busy OB/GYN's exam room , I think I would have had a panic attack on the table with my feet in stirrups and my toddler noisily opening and shutting office drawers. But in the comfortable homelike setting of my midwife's office where children's toys and activity litter every corner, I didn't even break a sweat.
How lucky I feel that I get this very capable prenatal care.
You see, I completely understand why many women chose to go the OB/GYN route when pregnant. I did with my first two children. I wanted to make sure I would be okay if any medical conditions arose. But I merely felt like a number, another body in the waiting room and even when delivery time came, I was closer to my delivery nurses than the trained medical doctor designated to assist in the birth.
So once again, I have to clap my hands in applause to the women and midwives that are trying to bring this excellent option back into childbirthing. Nurse midwives have provided me with excellent care for both of my last two pregnancies and I have never felt more safe or secure. I highly recommend any of you to explore this option for any future pregnancies you may have.
After reading this post on Blogher and then reading this sign posted at Aspen Women's Healthcare in Provo, Utah; I honestly don't understand why women think they are getting better prenatal "care" with OB/GYNs.
I also encourage you to read the book "Birth" by Tina Cassidy. I feel so lucky to be able to do this again.
I had forgotten that today's visit would include my physical (breast exam, pelvic exam) and so I brought my active 20 month old boy with me. Unfazed by his loud and curious presence, my midwife went about the exam with a pleasant attitude.
Had I been in a busy OB/GYN's exam room , I think I would have had a panic attack on the table with my feet in stirrups and my toddler noisily opening and shutting office drawers. But in the comfortable homelike setting of my midwife's office where children's toys and activity litter every corner, I didn't even break a sweat.
How lucky I feel that I get this very capable prenatal care.
You see, I completely understand why many women chose to go the OB/GYN route when pregnant. I did with my first two children. I wanted to make sure I would be okay if any medical conditions arose. But I merely felt like a number, another body in the waiting room and even when delivery time came, I was closer to my delivery nurses than the trained medical doctor designated to assist in the birth.
So once again, I have to clap my hands in applause to the women and midwives that are trying to bring this excellent option back into childbirthing. Nurse midwives have provided me with excellent care for both of my last two pregnancies and I have never felt more safe or secure. I highly recommend any of you to explore this option for any future pregnancies you may have.
After reading this post on Blogher and then reading this sign posted at Aspen Women's Healthcare in Provo, Utah; I honestly don't understand why women think they are getting better prenatal "care" with OB/GYNs.
I also encourage you to read the book "Birth" by Tina Cassidy. I feel so lucky to be able to do this again.
If they survive childhood....
The other day, Blake came out to breakfast with this little number 
"Holy Cow!" I exclaimed. "What the heck happened?"
"huh?" he said.
"What Happened to your EYE!!??" I said even louder than before.
"What?" he said.
"Your eye is purple and black!!"
"Oh yeah, I think Jackson did it last night on accident."
And he went about his morning.
"Holy Cow!" I exclaimed. "What the heck happened?""huh?" he said.
"What Happened to your EYE!!??" I said even louder than before.
"What?" he said.
"Your eye is purple and black!!"
"Oh yeah, I think Jackson did it last night on accident."
And he went about his morning.
When I told Blake to pose for these pictures and look especially abused, my actor child did just that.
For the record, his BROTHER did this to him, not me or his father.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Weekend of Love
Should I turn in my membership to NoBloMoPO or whatever the abbreviation is? I wanted SO BADLY to post everyday, but alas, it is like exercising or eating right. Once you get on a role, it's easy, but take one or two days off, it's hell to get back on the wagon.
Let me first start by saying this. If you are burned out as a mother and wife - get away from your house and family pronto. Meaning - it is advisable to get out of the immediate environment that makes you want to wilt. Husbands don't spend 24/7 at their jobs, right? Even they get to leave the workplace behind at some point during the day and get one or two days off a week. Stay at home moms - not so much. So this weekend was a very welcome respite from my job. Jeremy said, "you are a different woman away from the house and kids."
Marriage conference was good - packed with lots of sound information. Family Life runs a tight ship - it was well run with excellent speakers. The only comment I would make is that it was almost TOO packed with information. Lots and lots to digest in a small amount of time. We skipped one or two workshops because I needed to give my brain a rest and take a nap. Most of all, it was lovely to be with the guy I married 12 years ago and spend almost 3 days alone with him. We really do like each other.
Two major insights from the conference we are incorporating into our marriage.
Jeremy is going to continue to be a strong family leader.
Jeremy is going to take a stronger role as the male disciplinarian of the boys and I am going to continue to focus on my nurturing role as mother. Too often I try to do it all and discipline the boys and then wonder why they don't take me seriously. We both agreed that it was time that I hand the responsibility of accountability to Jeremy - to teach and model to his boys discipline, leadership, toughness, provider, and sensitivity to women. I feel like a huge burden has been taken off my shoulders.
Second major insight.
We need to continue to invest in our marriage. We haven't had more than one night away from the children for more than 5 years. We have plenty of wonderful and able grandparents and relatives who can help us with the children so we need to make it a priority to get away together. We also don't do a regular date night. We are going to try to do this as much as possible.
Other than that - cheers to our weekend away.
Let me first start by saying this. If you are burned out as a mother and wife - get away from your house and family pronto. Meaning - it is advisable to get out of the immediate environment that makes you want to wilt. Husbands don't spend 24/7 at their jobs, right? Even they get to leave the workplace behind at some point during the day and get one or two days off a week. Stay at home moms - not so much. So this weekend was a very welcome respite from my job. Jeremy said, "you are a different woman away from the house and kids."
Marriage conference was good - packed with lots of sound information. Family Life runs a tight ship - it was well run with excellent speakers. The only comment I would make is that it was almost TOO packed with information. Lots and lots to digest in a small amount of time. We skipped one or two workshops because I needed to give my brain a rest and take a nap. Most of all, it was lovely to be with the guy I married 12 years ago and spend almost 3 days alone with him. We really do like each other.
Two major insights from the conference we are incorporating into our marriage.
Jeremy is going to continue to be a strong family leader.
Jeremy is going to take a stronger role as the male disciplinarian of the boys and I am going to continue to focus on my nurturing role as mother. Too often I try to do it all and discipline the boys and then wonder why they don't take me seriously. We both agreed that it was time that I hand the responsibility of accountability to Jeremy - to teach and model to his boys discipline, leadership, toughness, provider, and sensitivity to women. I feel like a huge burden has been taken off my shoulders.
Second major insight.
We need to continue to invest in our marriage. We haven't had more than one night away from the children for more than 5 years. We have plenty of wonderful and able grandparents and relatives who can help us with the children so we need to make it a priority to get away together. We also don't do a regular date night. We are going to try to do this as much as possible.
Other than that - cheers to our weekend away.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
We're heading out...
Check out today's post below. Until then, Jeremy and I are heading out for the weekend for a marriage building conference. It's called A weekend to Remember hosted by Family Life. I'm not quite sure how to mobileblog or schedule posts, so I will see you on on Monday when I return.
Want to know the part I'm most looking forward to out of this weekend? No kids.
Bliss.
Want to know the part I'm most looking forward to out of this weekend? No kids.
Bliss.
"So what's going on with.....your debt reduction lifestyle?"
I wish I had pictures to match this post - until then, catch up on my frugal recessionista post a few months back.
I'll give you a quick update on our efforts and if you find yourself in a similar boat as we did - perhaps you can find some tips and encouragement for your own life.
As mentioned in yesterday's post, I started a side business to help bring in a little extra cash. But left me offer you a little more background to the story. Debt embarrasses me. I come from a family that boasts perfect credit scores, good savings, and frugal/smart practices. I think it is inevitable that young folks have to take on a bit of debt to begin their lives, but all too often we all get trapped in the "stuff" portion of life and seemingly take on more debt than needed. So I really felt like a failure that I was borrowing way too much and not having the income or smart money saving techniques to live without debt.
We have learned to live without things. When things break down, we have learned to live without it until we can pay cash for it out of our regular budget funds. For instance, our vacuum recently broke. This is a major breakdown for us since we have boys and two long haired dogs running around the house. But I waited until I finished an extra dog walking job I booked until I could pay cash. That meant my carpets were a little more dirty than normal, but I borrowed a neighbor's vacuum once or twice until I replaced my own. Our lawn mower broke. Our neighbors have been letting us borrow theirs until next spring when we will save up for one of our own.
We ride our bikes instead of driving to local events and parks. We try to always considate trips to stores. I have schedule shopping days and if we "need" something, it has to wait until my shopping day. Half the time, the item isn't as needed when the actual shopping day comes and we end up not purchasing it anyway. I now color my own hair. I cut the boy's hair. We have a list of things we usually purchase on our personal and food lists and try not to veer too far from those items. A lot of debt reduction lifestyle is about helping others, others helping you, lots of legwork (both literal and figurative), and staying simple in your approach.
We have reduced our lifestyle significantly. We decided to triple our payments to all our creditors. Meaning, instead of paying the required payment (say, $200 for student loans), we doubled or tripled the amount we sent. Through a lot of phone calls and legwork, I tried to reduce our interest rates as much as possible so our payments would be going towards BALANCES, not interest.
We went from having a discretionary spending budget of $800 every two weeks to $450 every two weeks- discretionary meaning food, clothing, car gasoline, personal items, medical expenses, and children's activities. I learned how to say NO to things so I could reduce what I spent. I learned the fine art of 'REDUCE, REUSE, AND RECYCLE.' Most times Jeremy and I look around the house and garage and see what we can find to serve our purpose instead of running to the store to buy something new. My kids and family always have clothes on their backs, we have a wonderful roof over our heads, food is on our table every meal, and we have a cool house in the summer and warm house in the winter. Since April - we have paid off over $8000 in debts!
Let me tell you some tricks to the debt reduction lifestyle. First and foremost, we needed an CASH ONLY emergency fund. We have retirement savings and stock that acts as our emergency cushion, but we needed something we could get to fast if something major arose. Dave Ramsey recommends this approach. I remember putting my first $200 check from Chilidog petsitting to that fund and adding to it whenever I had an extra dollar or two (or 20!). Emergency fund is crucial because then when things pop up (and they always do) you dont' have to tap into your regular budget to find money.
We also have been using any extra CENT that comes into this house to put towards our emergency savings. If I get an extra $20 from my job that I didn't budget for, it goes into savings. If Jer gets an additional $1000 on his bonus, it goes into savings. And we do it immediately before we can even think about it. If I let it sit too long in our checking account, it's gone. But if I take it out the day I get the money, I didn't even know it was there. We are hoping to have 6-8 months worth of monthly expenses saved up within the next year. I think we can do it!!
When I reduced our expenses back in April, I was really embarrassed to contact my cleaning person and nanny and say, "Sorry, I can't afford you anymore." One of them asked if Jeremy's job was in trouble. "Nope," I said, "we're just trying to make sure nothing DOES happen to us if he did." I thought people would pity me and our family for having to say no to activities and having to shop secondhand stores for most of our clothes. But instead, I find people are encouraged and happy to see a family live and flourish in today's economy.
So anyway, that is today's story. The holidays are going to be just as frugal as we plan to buy just one big present for the family and 1-2 small ones for each child. A huge difference from previous years. As Dave Ramsey says, "live like no one else so you can live like no one else."
I'll give you a quick update on our efforts and if you find yourself in a similar boat as we did - perhaps you can find some tips and encouragement for your own life.
As mentioned in yesterday's post, I started a side business to help bring in a little extra cash. But left me offer you a little more background to the story. Debt embarrasses me. I come from a family that boasts perfect credit scores, good savings, and frugal/smart practices. I think it is inevitable that young folks have to take on a bit of debt to begin their lives, but all too often we all get trapped in the "stuff" portion of life and seemingly take on more debt than needed. So I really felt like a failure that I was borrowing way too much and not having the income or smart money saving techniques to live without debt.
We have learned to live without things. When things break down, we have learned to live without it until we can pay cash for it out of our regular budget funds. For instance, our vacuum recently broke. This is a major breakdown for us since we have boys and two long haired dogs running around the house. But I waited until I finished an extra dog walking job I booked until I could pay cash. That meant my carpets were a little more dirty than normal, but I borrowed a neighbor's vacuum once or twice until I replaced my own. Our lawn mower broke. Our neighbors have been letting us borrow theirs until next spring when we will save up for one of our own.
We ride our bikes instead of driving to local events and parks. We try to always considate trips to stores. I have schedule shopping days and if we "need" something, it has to wait until my shopping day. Half the time, the item isn't as needed when the actual shopping day comes and we end up not purchasing it anyway. I now color my own hair. I cut the boy's hair. We have a list of things we usually purchase on our personal and food lists and try not to veer too far from those items. A lot of debt reduction lifestyle is about helping others, others helping you, lots of legwork (both literal and figurative), and staying simple in your approach.
We have reduced our lifestyle significantly. We decided to triple our payments to all our creditors. Meaning, instead of paying the required payment (say, $200 for student loans), we doubled or tripled the amount we sent. Through a lot of phone calls and legwork, I tried to reduce our interest rates as much as possible so our payments would be going towards BALANCES, not interest.
We went from having a discretionary spending budget of $800 every two weeks to $450 every two weeks- discretionary meaning food, clothing, car gasoline, personal items, medical expenses, and children's activities. I learned how to say NO to things so I could reduce what I spent. I learned the fine art of 'REDUCE, REUSE, AND RECYCLE.' Most times Jeremy and I look around the house and garage and see what we can find to serve our purpose instead of running to the store to buy something new. My kids and family always have clothes on their backs, we have a wonderful roof over our heads, food is on our table every meal, and we have a cool house in the summer and warm house in the winter. Since April - we have paid off over $8000 in debts!
Let me tell you some tricks to the debt reduction lifestyle. First and foremost, we needed an CASH ONLY emergency fund. We have retirement savings and stock that acts as our emergency cushion, but we needed something we could get to fast if something major arose. Dave Ramsey recommends this approach. I remember putting my first $200 check from Chilidog petsitting to that fund and adding to it whenever I had an extra dollar or two (or 20!). Emergency fund is crucial because then when things pop up (and they always do) you dont' have to tap into your regular budget to find money.
We also have been using any extra CENT that comes into this house to put towards our emergency savings. If I get an extra $20 from my job that I didn't budget for, it goes into savings. If Jer gets an additional $1000 on his bonus, it goes into savings. And we do it immediately before we can even think about it. If I let it sit too long in our checking account, it's gone. But if I take it out the day I get the money, I didn't even know it was there. We are hoping to have 6-8 months worth of monthly expenses saved up within the next year. I think we can do it!!
When I reduced our expenses back in April, I was really embarrassed to contact my cleaning person and nanny and say, "Sorry, I can't afford you anymore." One of them asked if Jeremy's job was in trouble. "Nope," I said, "we're just trying to make sure nothing DOES happen to us if he did." I thought people would pity me and our family for having to say no to activities and having to shop secondhand stores for most of our clothes. But instead, I find people are encouraged and happy to see a family live and flourish in today's economy.
So anyway, that is today's story. The holidays are going to be just as frugal as we plan to buy just one big present for the family and 1-2 small ones for each child. A huge difference from previous years. As Dave Ramsey says, "live like no one else so you can live like no one else."
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
"So what's going on with......your business?"
Back on April of this year, Jeremy and I decided to take control of our lives. Meaning, we decided to take on the challenge of living life debt-free. Like most people, we would buy a car with years of fixed payments. Like most people, we were still paying off student loans in fixed installment payments. Like most people, when an emergency arose, we put it on credit card and paid if off when we could.
But now it was time to stop the cycle. Instead of paying payments, we decided to tackle the balances. But a problem arose - Jeremy has a fixed salary and I stay at home with children - so how could we increase our income to match our goals? Simple - I would start a little side business. Plus at the time, I was tackling anxiety/panic attacks/depression and my counselor had encouraged me to do something distracting - like going back to work.
So I set the challenge to myself and to Jeremy. How would I get myself out of the house and bring in some extra money? Only problem is that I had to have a business that wouldn't interfere to heavily with raising children. I had to be able to bring Chase (the baby) with me if Jeremy wasn't available to be home, and I needed the flexibility of setting my own schedule. I thought and prayed on it and it came to me - Why not open a pet sitting and dog walking business? I could set my own hours and rates. I could schedule myself. I could bring Chase in the backpack if needed on my dog walks and pet visits. Perfect!!
Chilidog pet sitting was born. It has been an absolute blessing to me and the family. We had a steady stream of clients in the spring and summer. Some of my favorite jobs include my "farm" job in Silverton, OR where I would go out and take care of 5 dogs, 2 cats, 1 turtle, 2 birds, 1 horse and 1 donkey - oh, and a 1 acre garden as well. The boys loved to accompany me on that job and would pick ripe raspberries and blueberries and haul hay out to feed the horses and run around the property with the dogs. It was great fun. I also had another steady client that would travel almost every weekend, so the boys and I would ride our bikes over to the dog's house and take care of the dog and walk her and give her love and company. I paid the boys a small sum for their help and they both told me how happy they were that I had started this business and that they could help animals.
October was my busiest month yet, but I find that November is quite slow. I think my pet sitting may slow down during the winter - but that is okay with me. I'm feeling very much in the first trimester of pregnancy and I think maybe the slowdown could be good for our family. We've managed to use all the money earned to buy extra things for our family and still triple our payments to all our debtors. We feel blessed indeed.
I don't know the future of Chilidog pet sitting because I will have two children under the age of two next summer along with the older boys - not as easy to get around as I used to. But if you are a stay at home mom with free days and looking for something small to keep you busy and exercised and bring in a little extra money - I highly recommend this job - it has been nothing but a blessing!
But now it was time to stop the cycle. Instead of paying payments, we decided to tackle the balances. But a problem arose - Jeremy has a fixed salary and I stay at home with children - so how could we increase our income to match our goals? Simple - I would start a little side business. Plus at the time, I was tackling anxiety/panic attacks/depression and my counselor had encouraged me to do something distracting - like going back to work.
So I set the challenge to myself and to Jeremy. How would I get myself out of the house and bring in some extra money? Only problem is that I had to have a business that wouldn't interfere to heavily with raising children. I had to be able to bring Chase (the baby) with me if Jeremy wasn't available to be home, and I needed the flexibility of setting my own schedule. I thought and prayed on it and it came to me - Why not open a pet sitting and dog walking business? I could set my own hours and rates. I could schedule myself. I could bring Chase in the backpack if needed on my dog walks and pet visits. Perfect!!
Chilidog pet sitting was born. It has been an absolute blessing to me and the family. We had a steady stream of clients in the spring and summer. Some of my favorite jobs include my "farm" job in Silverton, OR where I would go out and take care of 5 dogs, 2 cats, 1 turtle, 2 birds, 1 horse and 1 donkey - oh, and a 1 acre garden as well. The boys loved to accompany me on that job and would pick ripe raspberries and blueberries and haul hay out to feed the horses and run around the property with the dogs. It was great fun. I also had another steady client that would travel almost every weekend, so the boys and I would ride our bikes over to the dog's house and take care of the dog and walk her and give her love and company. I paid the boys a small sum for their help and they both told me how happy they were that I had started this business and that they could help animals.
October was my busiest month yet, but I find that November is quite slow. I think my pet sitting may slow down during the winter - but that is okay with me. I'm feeling very much in the first trimester of pregnancy and I think maybe the slowdown could be good for our family. We've managed to use all the money earned to buy extra things for our family and still triple our payments to all our debtors. We feel blessed indeed.
I don't know the future of Chilidog pet sitting because I will have two children under the age of two next summer along with the older boys - not as easy to get around as I used to. But if you are a stay at home mom with free days and looking for something small to keep you busy and exercised and bring in a little extra money - I highly recommend this job - it has been nothing but a blessing!
Monday, November 9, 2009
"So what's going on with..... your pregnancy?"
As announced a few weeks ago, I'm expecting our fourth child. Well technically our fifth child, but I'll talk about that in a minute. Anyway, I'm now 11.5 weeks and feeling better. I grew out of my pants very early - I tend to wear tighter fitting pants so even an extra day of bloating just wasn't cutting it; actually it was cutting it - right into my midsection. Ouch. I'm now in the official stage of - "She is really getting fat! - or could she be pregnant?"
What unique about this pregnancy is a couple of things. First, I was really sick early on. I stayed pretty nauseous for quite a while. Now it is tapering off a little. I also got very pregnant looking very fast. I'm wearing size XS maternity clothes because the real maternity clothes are way too big (as they should be) but my normal clothes fit very weird. Ah....the next year of my life begins. I'm able to exercise normally although I cut my Elliptical time to 30 minutes a day and weight training to 2X a week. I can still run/jog a little with the boys although I find I prefer to walk. No major aches or pains quite yet as I think my body is pretty stretched about from the previous boys and it kind of knows what to do. I'm also really really hungry. I can't control it! I have to have food now! And even quicker than now if possible. I found that I could control my cravings pretty well in previous pregnancies or that I was pretty good about my eating. That all is thrown out the window now - if my stomach empties - watch out!!
As for the approach to this pregnancy, I'm seeing a team of nurse-midwives. I decided to try the midwife route when I was pregnant with my third baby and I could not have been more pleased. It was by far the best delivery I ever had and I had the least amount of trauma to my body. My prenatal visits were as long as I needed them to be and I was usually seen by the MW without waiting more than 5 minutes in the waiting room. I delivered in a hospital with an epidural. If I make it full term with this baby, I'm going to do something different. I'm going to try the natural route. I've had epiduralsw with all of my babies and I certainly can't complain. But if you talk to natural birth advocates - they rave and rave about the natural experience. I figure - why not try it this time around since I'm pretty sure it WILL BE the last baby. Then I can compare and see if it really is THAT much better than epidural births. My last birth was almost all natural except the epidural. My water broke by itself, I didn't have any monitoring unless my MW needed to check. I was able to move around as I wanted. Then I chickened out and asked for the epidural. So this time around I'm going to go the full Monty.
We are going to do the full first trimester birth defect screen. This involves a high resolution ultrasound given by a perinatologist where he/she measure how thick the baby's neck (nuchal fold) is during weeks 10-14 and combines the results with a blood test to determine our chances of having a baby with a neural tube defect, Down's syndrome, and Trisomy 18. We had a baby boy we named Brock between Jackson and Blake who had a fatal neural tube defect called anencephaly. He delivered around 24 weeks and was a stillborn. Blessedly, I've had two babies since him who have been 100% normal, but I still opt for all the high risk tests just to make sure everything is okay. These next few weeks coming up will be difficult and emotional as we go through the testing.
Other than that, we're very excited to have #4 on the way. I kind of feel a bit nutty for having these many children, but since we tend to be a close knit family, I can only imagine that this baby will add to the fun, chaos, and wonderful journey that is childhood in the Deshazer circus.
Side note: could this toddler be any cuter?? What a grown up face!
What unique about this pregnancy is a couple of things. First, I was really sick early on. I stayed pretty nauseous for quite a while. Now it is tapering off a little. I also got very pregnant looking very fast. I'm wearing size XS maternity clothes because the real maternity clothes are way too big (as they should be) but my normal clothes fit very weird. Ah....the next year of my life begins. I'm able to exercise normally although I cut my Elliptical time to 30 minutes a day and weight training to 2X a week. I can still run/jog a little with the boys although I find I prefer to walk. No major aches or pains quite yet as I think my body is pretty stretched about from the previous boys and it kind of knows what to do. I'm also really really hungry. I can't control it! I have to have food now! And even quicker than now if possible. I found that I could control my cravings pretty well in previous pregnancies or that I was pretty good about my eating. That all is thrown out the window now - if my stomach empties - watch out!!
As for the approach to this pregnancy, I'm seeing a team of nurse-midwives. I decided to try the midwife route when I was pregnant with my third baby and I could not have been more pleased. It was by far the best delivery I ever had and I had the least amount of trauma to my body. My prenatal visits were as long as I needed them to be and I was usually seen by the MW without waiting more than 5 minutes in the waiting room. I delivered in a hospital with an epidural. If I make it full term with this baby, I'm going to do something different. I'm going to try the natural route. I've had epiduralsw with all of my babies and I certainly can't complain. But if you talk to natural birth advocates - they rave and rave about the natural experience. I figure - why not try it this time around since I'm pretty sure it WILL BE the last baby. Then I can compare and see if it really is THAT much better than epidural births. My last birth was almost all natural except the epidural. My water broke by itself, I didn't have any monitoring unless my MW needed to check. I was able to move around as I wanted. Then I chickened out and asked for the epidural. So this time around I'm going to go the full Monty.
We are going to do the full first trimester birth defect screen. This involves a high resolution ultrasound given by a perinatologist where he/she measure how thick the baby's neck (nuchal fold) is during weeks 10-14 and combines the results with a blood test to determine our chances of having a baby with a neural tube defect, Down's syndrome, and Trisomy 18. We had a baby boy we named Brock between Jackson and Blake who had a fatal neural tube defect called anencephaly. He delivered around 24 weeks and was a stillborn. Blessedly, I've had two babies since him who have been 100% normal, but I still opt for all the high risk tests just to make sure everything is okay. These next few weeks coming up will be difficult and emotional as we go through the testing.
Other than that, we're very excited to have #4 on the way. I kind of feel a bit nutty for having these many children, but since we tend to be a close knit family, I can only imagine that this baby will add to the fun, chaos, and wonderful journey that is childhood in the Deshazer circus.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
"So what's going on with....."? week
Did anyone catch that I missed Friday's post but made up for it by posting twice on Saturday? In order to do NoBloPoMo and be in the early stages of pregnancy, I may have a few makeup days here and there.
So this whole week I'm doing a feature called "So what's going on with that?" where I'll give you updates on some of my major events happening in my life. Often, those I talk with on a monthly or yearly basis ask me the highlights of what is going on with me. Now you can get those answers without ever having to pick up the phone to call me. Hmmmm....maybe I should think this through. Oh well, I'm doing it.
Tune in tomorrow.
So this whole week I'm doing a feature called "So what's going on with that?" where I'll give you updates on some of my major events happening in my life. Often, those I talk with on a monthly or yearly basis ask me the highlights of what is going on with me. Now you can get those answers without ever having to pick up the phone to call me. Hmmmm....maybe I should think this through. Oh well, I'm doing it.
Tune in tomorrow.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Hey - I'm up with the times!
I came across this post on one of my favorite design blogs - Habitually Chic- where black interiors were featured.
.jpg)
When we first moved into our mid-90's built house, we couldn't figure out what to do with the pillar-like arches in our house. One day I got the brilliant idea to paint them black. Jeremy loved the idea. Unfortunately, most who visit the house don't love the black columns. In fact, I think one of the comments we heard was "You'll have to paint those back to white when you sell the house". But I love them - they look so dramatic and I've always been one for black accents. The post on "Black Magic" confirmed that black can be done in a non-morbid way and look slick and amazing.
When we first moved into our mid-90's built house, we couldn't figure out what to do with the pillar-like arches in our house. One day I got the brilliant idea to paint them black. Jeremy loved the idea. Unfortunately, most who visit the house don't love the black columns. In fact, I think one of the comments we heard was "You'll have to paint those back to white when you sell the house". But I love them - they look so dramatic and I've always been one for black accents. The post on "Black Magic" confirmed that black can be done in a non-morbid way and look slick and amazing.check out my very non-professional photos of our black accent arches in our house.
I can't wait until I get a decorating budget again. We're doing so well on our debt payoff, but it sometimes pains my heart that I can't decorate like I would like too. Check out my blog for next week's posts on updates that include our debt payoff plan.
Kindness of Neighbors
A couple of weeks ago when we all had the flu, my neighbor across the street gives me a call."I hear you are all sick over there. I'm going to bring you dinner."
And indeed she did, complete with spaghetti dinner, bread, and salad. No one had ever done that. Bring us dinner simply because the entire family was all sick with flu.
It was amazing - not just the food, but that someone would do that for our family. I hope that I can remember how grateful I felt that evening to have dinner brought to me and maybe one day I can bless someone else.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
A Great Memory
Today as I was working out on my Elliptical, a sudden memory took hold of me.
About six months ago, I took my whole boy gang up to Portland to shop at IKEA. If you know my boys, you know they can be rather rambuncious, rowdy, and otherwise not great shoppers. But I needed an activity for the day so I figured we should make an adventure out of it.
After we finished shopping, I sat my brood down at a local table at the coffee shop so I could buy them an ice cream cone as a reward for a fairly successful shopping trip. Keeping them in my line of vision, I waited until it was my turn to order. Right before it was my turn, a man approached me.
"Excuse me, but are those your children over there?" He asked. He was a fairly young man - complete with arm tattoos, a goatee, dark rimmed glasses - kind of your typical Portland IKEA-goer.
Instant fear hit me as I silently berated myself for leaving the boys by themselves - "Oh no, what did they do now?"
The man chuckled, "No, no - it wasn't that. I just wanted to let you know that my girlfriend and I have watched you today and you have some of the most well behaved children I've ever seen."
I think my mouth dropped about four feet and I stared at him in disbelief because if you know my stories of my children - they often don't include the words "well behaved" "examples of greatness" etc.
I continued to stare at him for another moment until it got a little uncomfortable and then he said, "Well, I just wanted to tell you that".
"Thank you", I whispered, "That made my day."
And you know what? Even if I never receive a compliment like that ever again, at least that happened to me at least once in my life. A stranger stopped me to tell me that I was doing a good job as a mother. And I really am glad he did.
Maybe one day you will be one of those people who stops a harried young mother to tell her that she is doing a good job too because Lord knows she is often telling herself what a terrible job she does.
Thank you Portland IKEA stranger.
About six months ago, I took my whole boy gang up to Portland to shop at IKEA. If you know my boys, you know they can be rather rambuncious, rowdy, and otherwise not great shoppers. But I needed an activity for the day so I figured we should make an adventure out of it.
After we finished shopping, I sat my brood down at a local table at the coffee shop so I could buy them an ice cream cone as a reward for a fairly successful shopping trip. Keeping them in my line of vision, I waited until it was my turn to order. Right before it was my turn, a man approached me.
"Excuse me, but are those your children over there?" He asked. He was a fairly young man - complete with arm tattoos, a goatee, dark rimmed glasses - kind of your typical Portland IKEA-goer.
Instant fear hit me as I silently berated myself for leaving the boys by themselves - "Oh no, what did they do now?"
The man chuckled, "No, no - it wasn't that. I just wanted to let you know that my girlfriend and I have watched you today and you have some of the most well behaved children I've ever seen."
I think my mouth dropped about four feet and I stared at him in disbelief because if you know my stories of my children - they often don't include the words "well behaved" "examples of greatness" etc.
I continued to stare at him for another moment until it got a little uncomfortable and then he said, "Well, I just wanted to tell you that".
"Thank you", I whispered, "That made my day."
And you know what? Even if I never receive a compliment like that ever again, at least that happened to me at least once in my life. A stranger stopped me to tell me that I was doing a good job as a mother. And I really am glad he did.
Maybe one day you will be one of those people who stops a harried young mother to tell her that she is doing a good job too because Lord knows she is often telling herself what a terrible job she does.
Thank you Portland IKEA stranger.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
What I'm doing today
What took me 2 hours to complete:
Cleaning up the backyard and getting all the plants out of the garden.
What I did for 2 hours after that:
Sat on the couch and watched "V" and then took a nap.
What I'm doing tonight:
Watching Mad Men on DVD while hubby watches World Series and boys are in their rooms doing homework (supposedly - I see them running around right now).
What I'm reading later before bed:
Recently bought a boxed set of Roald Dahl books for the boys and couldn't restrain myself any longer. I absolutely adore him and his style of writing and need uncomplicated fiction right now in my life. Finished his memoir "Boy" yesterday and working on "BFG" today.
What I am happy about today:
Hubby had a day off today and it was really nice spending time with him in a quiet house. Everyone is healthy and no one and no dog pooped on the carpet. Life seems good.
Cleaning up the backyard and getting all the plants out of the garden.
What I did for 2 hours after that:
Sat on the couch and watched "V" and then took a nap.
What I'm doing tonight:
Watching Mad Men on DVD while hubby watches World Series and boys are in their rooms doing homework (supposedly - I see them running around right now).
What I'm reading later before bed:
Recently bought a boxed set of Roald Dahl books for the boys and couldn't restrain myself any longer. I absolutely adore him and his style of writing and need uncomplicated fiction right now in my life. Finished his memoir "Boy" yesterday and working on "BFG" today.
What I am happy about today:
Hubby had a day off today and it was really nice spending time with him in a quiet house. Everyone is healthy and no one and no dog pooped on the carpet. Life seems good.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Get your fiber here
Last night Jeremy and I needed to kill a few hours, so we decided to take the whole gang to Costco to pick up a few books. (side note: Jeremy supervises all the merchandising at Costco, so he had a bunch of new and fun things to show me around the warehouse - dangerous dangerous job that man has - it will either break us or harden our resolve to not spend money!!)Anyway, it just so happens that this week - Vitamix is at our local Costco. I don't need to explain to you this roadshow if you frequent any Costco but for those of you who aren't familiar with this product - it is basically a very high powered blender that can liquefy any solid item in 60 seconds or less and the demonstrators who man the booth love to show you this trick.
Since we had a few minutes to kill, I decided to stick around for the demonstration. In fact I think I said to the bored looking young man with arm tattoos, "Show me what you got here." (very classy, I know). So he did the juicing, frozen, and hot soup demonstrations. For the juice/smoothie he took whole apples and put them in - stems, seeds, everything. He peeled the hard orange peel off the orange, but left the white fibrous part. He cut the tough skin off the pineapple, but left the pulpy inside. He added carrots, cabbage, garlic to the "juice". Several other fruits were added that I missed because Chase was squawking. We had at least 10 fruits and vegetables in the juice and it tasted AMAZING!
For the frozen fruit sorbet and vegetable soup, it was basically the same amount of fruit and vegetables in each serving. I think he said we had 4-5 servings of fruits and vegetables that evening between all the delicious samples. We enjoyed them and bid him goodnight and headed off to purchase our books - proud of ourselves for getting such healthy and nutritious samples at Costco.
Later that night, I felt a gurgle in my stomach and passed it off as stomach upset. Went to bed with a little indigestion, but typical for a pregnant woman like myself.
AND THEN IT HIT ME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.
All those fibrous, pulpy fruits and seeds and skin and vegetables and whatever the hell he put in those liquefied samples hit my lower intestines with the effect of coarse hemp rope pulling through my insides. Holy snot - I couldn't believe the cleaning power of those three simple Vitamix recipes.
Be warned: Vitamix is really healthy and really good, but if your body is not used to a good fruit cleanse - plan on being home for the next 24 hours.
Yowsah!
Monday, November 2, 2009
Oh yes I did
I'm not above scaring the bejeebies out of my children - if it is for their own good.Lately, we've been working on stranger danger. They do pretty well with the quiz portion of the stranger talk, i.e// "If someone you don't know wants to stop and talk to you, what do you do?" (answer: run away screaming for your life). "If someone goes to grab you and try to take you away, what do you do?" (answer: kick him in the balls and try to gouge their eyes out and scream for your life).
But I just feel like they are getting cavalier about stranger danger. So yesterday, I whipped out the old child horror standby - the movie, "The Witches" based on the book by Roald Dahl. Do you know it? Where witches in the world are bald, have square toes and purple eyes, and think children smell like dog droppings so their mission in life is to exterminate the children. A little dramatic, but after we watched the movie, Blake said, "I'm never going to answer the door again!"
Oh course, the bad people in real life don't have purple eyes and dress in funny English old lady costumes, but at least they saw some of the techniques the witches use to nab children (using a snake to try to get Luke out of the tree or offering 6 bars of chocolate to lure little boys away from their parents).
Sunday, November 1, 2009
NaBloPoMo
I'm gonna do it.
One post every day for the month of November.
Two of my favorite blogging peoples have committed to doing it (cuz and never met before but really like, so I figured why not me too?
Gives me a chance to complain on a daily basis about my sickness. Kidding of course.
One post every day for the month of November.
Two of my favorite blogging peoples have committed to doing it (cuz and never met before but really like, so I figured why not me too?
Gives me a chance to complain on a daily basis about my sickness. Kidding of course.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
