So today, I have been fighting the battle that I seem to encounter every Sunday. It's called - wrestling your children to church.
so let me back up and quickly explain my position. I've called myself a Christian, but what does that mean? What church do I go to? In college, I started going to an evangelical non-denominational Christian church where the church doctrine consists solely of the Bible. "Christian" churches can include several denominations - like Presbyterian, Lutheran, Methodist, Baptist, and several other. Many times, churches branch off a denomination (like from an established Baptist church) and provide more contemporary services. The leadership is different of each individual church and generally the leaders are called "Pastors" although I've come across a Reverend or two in my travels. You mostly sing contemporary worship songs - similar to what you may hear on a Christian radio station, although more traditional churches may include more Hymns in their music. I converted from my former religion (LDS) and was baptised a "Christian" within one year. I met my husband at the college Bible study, met a ton a friends, and eventually Jeremy and I we were married at this church. Both of our children were born and dedicated while we attended Westminster Chapel. I would say my faith is strong and unwavering in the Christian faith, yet I would never consider myself a "bible thumper" or finger pointer. Thus, why I often say I am a liberal Christian - I kind of leave the judgements up to God. Anyway.....
I tell you about this because I know that many of the people I network with through blogging are LDS, so unless you are familiar with evangelical Christian venacular, you may not know what I am talking about when I talk about my church. So let's move on.
Since moving to Salem, we have found this church to be the one where we are most comfortable with. Often, you'll hear Christians talking about "church shopping" when they move to a new area, which means they are looking around for a church that is not only Biblicallly-based, but in line with their own worship style. So, The past three years, Jeremy's job has him working on Sundays. Which means I have to go to church by myself with my two boys. And usually, most assuredly, I don't end up going to church. Sometimes I feel like Christian churches are made for couples and families and I feel weird about attending by myself, but mostly it is because worship services are always on Sunday mornings at 8:00am, 9:30am, and 11:00am. 8 and 9:30 are tough to get to - so 11:00 is usually the service of choice. However, at our new church, the boys really really do not like the children's program at the 11:00 hour. So every week they fight me about going. And every week, I usually cave in and just don't go because it is too much work.
It happened again today. I wake up every Sunday ready to go and by 10:00, I'm like, forget it!! Not that I expect you out there to give me any advice relating to this problem; it's kind of something I need to figure out for myself. But I felt compelled to write about this topic - hoping now that I've outed myself as a complete wimp and spineless church goer, maybe I'll begin to gather the strength to just buck up and go - even if it means go by myself.
For the rest of you, have a great Sunday and I'll return again tomorrow. I have a good post already in the making.
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11 comments:
Shannen-
I FEEL YA!! When we were in Wisconsin during Paul's residency I often had to go by myself and it is no easy task. I also have to say that I didn't know you ever were LDS?! Go figure!! I just always knew you were such a cool girl no matter what!
If you are looking for advice, I'd just say that usually it's worth it to go. There were many times I didn't want to, but always was glad I did after the fact. Good luck with that, and don't get down on yourself. Your a great Mom and a great Christian!!
Have you tried Saturday evening services???? My girlfriend is church shopping right now. She knows I am LDS, but her husband wouldn't go for the "strict" rules (mainly not drinking alcohol). I invited her to church anyway. There's also a very good non-demoninational church down the street. Tino's friends' dad is the pastor over the youth program there. I told her about that church . . . which meets at 10:30 a.m. on Sunday mornings. Cristian couldn't believe I invited her to our church AND also a church that I have never even attended. I'm just trying to help her out in this church shopping process.
For us, it's fairly easy. Move to a new city and the church/ward boundaries are already set according to where you live. We just need to make the decision of which language we would like to attend our services in. Where we are now, we have a choice between English, Spanish, Portuguese, or French/Creole. We attend the Spanish speaking branch.
Hey Shannan!
Don't give up! You may have to keep looking or settle for a church that the kids don't like as much but that you love...remember that YOU are the one who calls the shots meanwhile your kids are to respect your decisions (even when they don't agree). If this is something that is important to you, use this as a teaching opportunity for your kids by putting up strict boundries and sticking to them. Sit down and explain to them why you value going to church and that from now on there will not be any arguing with you about the fact that you will be going to church. Then, if you need to, choose a consequence if they do not respect your decision. Be consistent and don't waiver on this issue!
They are so impressionable right now and need to be surrounded by people who love and serve the Lord -- these people can not only model Christ but pray for them and support you as well. That is what's so beautiful about the body of Christ. This is something too precious for you and your children to miss out on! You can do it!!!
Great post!!! I don't really have anything to add but I really liked all the comments.
Let me know how it goes.
It's hard for me to get to church too. Satan wants me to stay home. He likes it. Just me and Satan and Alice, having a party at my house. We sleep, we eat, we feel guilty. It's great.
I'm sure that was a big help.
If it's a habit and they know there is no choice it is easier, but without a husband there to help you get ready and 9 months preggers even God will give you a pass!
Now do a blog about why you are no longer Mormon and why you chose your church and all us Mormons will totally eat it up. Only the bad, non-Christian ones will chastise you. I dare you.
That is so hard Shannon. I agree, that being 9 months pregnant and doing it alone is a great excuse to skip a little! I did really like the madson family comment. I think if you explain that it is very important to you and tell your kids there is no more complaining and they're going no matter what, maybe over time they'll give up the fight. I hope it gets easier soon!
OK, so you can't take up my dare. I do have to tell you that a little blog controversy is a whole lot of fun, but yours might be waaay to much for some. Maybe someday.
Don't listen to Paige...that girl lives for controversy!
Okay, really, listen to Paige, because we all write about why our church is true...why shouldn't you write about yours?? Maybe not "The Mormons are so screwed up" but maybe here are reasons why this worked better for me?
Don't worry, you'll find your way!
Yikes, I sound like my former pastor when he called to find out why we stopped going to church on Sabbath. I was raised Seventh Day Adventist (clutch your pearls)
I was thinking of telling him that we started going on Sunday but, I was too nervous of the controversy it would cause.
After reading this--***I've outed myself as a complete wimp and spineless church goer,***
I feel completely safe and confident to admit that we watch church on TV. Joel Osteen to be more specific.
You are a PERFECT mom and wife. Don't feel discouraged. I'm sure you'll find your way. Yikes, there I go again. I sound like my former pastor.
((((hugs))))
I have the wrestle match with my 4 kids almost every Sunday. Even when my husband happens to be in town, he usually drifts off to sleep and so I'm still wrestling. The biggest problem right now that I see can relate to is my 8 month prego belly that my 2 year old no longer fits on but tries to. By the time nursery and primary hour roll along, I'm exhausted and falling asleep during Sunday school. I wish you the best of luck. :)
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